Chapter Two – Moving back in with the Parents

When I moved out of my parents’ house and into my own flat I felt so grown up, the world was my oyster. I was finally doing adult hood and growing into the woman I’d always wanted to be. My friends looked up to me I had done what they wanted to do but couldn’t. Everybody respected me.  WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!! I don’t know how much I can stress that. DO NOT MOVE OUT UNTIL YOU ARE FULLY READY.  All I am in now is debts up to my eyeballs and I’m not even a student! I Tried to many times to be a student but, I was just not financially able to do it. Being a full time student and trying to work a job was tiring very, tiring. I’m sorry to students out there who are doing this but, your not enjoying yourself as much as you may say you are deep down, your not! I want to enjoy my college course. Musical theatre is something I am passionate about and I don’t want to start disliking it because of the stress of bills. No thank you that’s just not for me.
Moving back in with my parents, does this mean I’ve failed at adulthood? No, in fact it is the exact opposite. Only now am I realising becoming an adult is not about moving out. Becoming an adult is about being mature and wise with your decisions, not getting yourself into thousand pounds’ worth of debt (would highly advise against this especially). Moving back in with my parents I’m now able to get myself a full time job and I get to go back and study in September but, until then I have no bills to worry about I can save up so that when I’m back studying I am able to just carry on with a part time job. This way when I do finish at college and decide to go to University wherever that may take me, although I have a good Idea where I want to go, I will have saved up enough money to keep me going for a good while without the stress of debts like most students.
Not everyone gets it easy, comes from a rich family, wealthy background. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t blame them for me being where I am or them being who they are, If I was in that position I would most definitely not be complaining either. But, people got to give us slack its not all fun and games in life, you’ve got to work hard to get what you want.
Anyway, I guess the point I’m trying to make is that, when I moved out I didn’t think it would be that hard, I laughed at my parents when they told me I would struggle on my own because at the time I thought its not that hard anyone can do it, I’m 20 years old I’m an adult, I know what I’m doing.  I wouldn’t take it back for anything the experience I have had living on my own has been life changing, all I’m saying if you are going to do it, listen to the people around you, they aren’t always saying things to be mean but they have more experience than what you do or what you think you do. I am happy to say that I am moving back in with my family and am actually going to get my shit together and learn how to adult because its not easy. Now I just need to find myself, set out a plan and get going. Short term goals for the long term goals just remember that when you finally decide to adult!

Bye For now Readers

signature blog


Chapter One – Where It Ends, It Begins.

So, I’m twenty one years old and coming up for twenty two. Life is getting on, I’m over half way to forty and what have I achieved so far? Nothing, would be the answer to that. Don’t get me wrong I’ve enjoyed everything I have done, in the moment it was a laugh.
I decided I would have a drink the other day, sat in the house with my friends, friends I will be there for no matter what and them the same for me. The drinks kept going down, and pretty well I might add, and you know everything is all fun and games, the night then starts to turn into a blur and the next thing you know you’re waking up the next morning. Now normally this is fine, I wake up I don’t feel too good but hey I get over it it’s just a hangover right? No, not this time. I woke up in the morning and had this horrible feeling in my chest, in my head, I knew something wasn’t right. I look to my right and see the face of a heart broken man just looking at me, it was in that moment I knew I’d said something or done something to hurt him. Now me knowing I was drunk the night before I didn’t want to know what had happened all i know is that i broke a piece of someone I truly cared about that night and that is not something I ever want to experience again.
I looked at him tears in my eyes, an emotionless expression across his face. I’ve never been so scared to have thought that I lost someone, I had a lump in my throat and I just couldn’t speak. I apologised to him for whatever I has said to him but to quote “There is only so much someone can apologise until it means nothing” and that hurt me the fact that it had got to that point between us, between friends, between whatever we were.
From that point I let him leave the bedroom to clear his mind and I had a long hard talk with myself, or an argument if you’d like. I made the decision to change my life, I decided I want to make something of my life instead. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t have a drink problem however, I do like to go out drinking a lot perhaps a bit more than girls my age should, but I thought to myself if I don’t stop I’m going to end up pushing everyone I care about away or worse hating myself, hating yourself is the worst possible thing to happen.
So now all because of that one night, I made the choice to change myself, I am now taking every opportunity I can, I don’t want to say no anymore (within reason) I want excitement in my life, yes I like to drink but I want more in my life now. Now i want to strive to be the best me that I can be. Ive gone out now Ive found a job I love doing and a job I want to progress in, i’m participating in events I wouldn’t have done when I was out drinking all the time and I’m actually starting to not just like myself but love myself again, something that everyone needs to do.
I want to be loved by someone one day and thats what I used to look for all the time was just someone who would give me attention. That attention made me feel good about myself, but you know, I realised no one will every truly love me the way that I want until i learn to truly love myself, perfections and flaws. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I had an epiphany if you will and now i know what direction I want to go and everyone can do the same. So this is to the beginning of my story and I can’t wait to share the rest of it with you all.